How much does it cost to go to the cinema?

 I met up with Lorna who was home from France for the Christmas. We decided to go to the cinema to see West Side Story.

I know I've seen it before, but it's like your favourite album. You can listen to it over and over again.

When it finished, we spilled out into Blanchardstown Shopping Center. The sparkling lights were on, the Christmas music was playing and the shops were displaying those festive posters which screamed

SALE!

So of course we had to go in and see what was on offer.

Later, back in the house we realised that it had been a very expensive trip to the cinema... but well worth it!

Have myself a Merry Little Christmas time.

 

We all knew they were coming.....more restrictions. All those plans of boozy nights catching up with friends were slowly disappearing into a covid-induced haze.

When it was announced that all craic would cease after 8pm my social diary for the festive season dried up.

But I'm determined to be as positive as I can. Nothing can be as bad as full lockdown, when I was confined to my house on my own, permitted to go in a 2km radius and also try to continue to educate 31 kids via zoom.

Please bear in mind that when I went to college, I was given tuition on how to write straight on a blackboard using chalk! That's as much educational technology  I've been given.

Anyway, I'm determined to look on the bright side and concentrate on what I CAN do this Christmas.

Here's my list so far

• Meet friends for dinner/drinks in the early afternoon.
• Meet up with three households in someones house. (dangerous!)
• Go to an early cinema viewing of a film (looking forward to "The Lost Daughter" and "Belfast")
• A matinee performance of panto, any show
• Walks in parks, Belvedere etc
• Shopping
• Religious ceremonies. I'm very partial to a Christmas midnight mass especially if Emmet Cahill is singing.
  
  
  
  
• And if any of my friends would decide to have a shotgun wedding or renew their wedding vows, that would be great, thanks!

If you have anything to add to this list, it would be much appreciateed, Just might save my sanity this time around!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Missing Person

 Last weekend we were clearing out our family home. I spent ages going through the boxes of photos, letters and diaries which I found in my old bedroom.

Right at the back of my wardrobe I found these three large framed photos of ....ME!!!

I remember well getting them done. It was around the time when all my friends were getting married. I decided that if I was never going to have a wedding album at least I would have some professional photos of me. ( I wasn't vain or anything!)

I remember showing them proudly to my family and announcing

"If I ever go missing, these are the photos I want you to use on my MISSING posters!"

My then ten-year old nephew squinted at them and said

"But then Noeleen we'll never find you. You look nothing like that!!!"

Photographic evidence

 

My first History lesson with my new class of 9 year olds was all about the work of the historian and where they get their information.

The beauty of being so long in this job is that I have a photo of me overseeing my very first First Holy Communion which was 35 years ago!!! I showed it to the class on the Interactive White Board ( there were none of those new fangled things back in the day....) and we discussed the importance of photographic evidence as a primary source of evidence. There were many questions, all very valid.

Pupil: Miss, you see the way your hair was brown way back then. Do you dye it, or has it turned yellow because of history?

Me: being truthful. I dye it.  Next question please?

Next stop...Olympics

 Skibbereen Rowing Club have just been on to me. 

They want me for Paris 2024!!!

I don't like boxing........

 

I don't like watching the sport of boxing. That is not to say that I don't appreciate the blood, sweat and tears that boxers go through , not just in their matches but in their training and their dedication to their sport, I do! I have the highest admiration for their courage and discipline. It;s just that I can't stomach people inflicting pain on another living creature, be it an animal or a person. I can't remember ever being slapped as a child, so physical punishment is just not in my psyche.

So why was my alarm set for 5.45 am on a Sunday morning? 

To watch the lightweight Women's boxing final in the Olympics. Yes of course I'd heard of Kellie Harrington before these games but having seen her postfight interviews over the past weeks I have developed an overwhelming admiration for her, not just as a sports star, but also as a role model and a down right amazing person.

So I was on the couch with a cup of tea and a slice of toast in hand to watch the final. Now as I have never watched these fights before I'm not au fait with the scoring process. I assume you get points for making contact with your opponent and you get more points if you get their head??? I am open to correction.

So there I was, a totally non-violent person, shouting at the screen

"Hit her!! Good punch."

and actually hoping that Kellie would knock out her opponent, as I gathered from the commentators that it was one round each and the third round was the deciding factor.

And I think that's why  boxing makes me uncomfortable. It makes me turn completely against my own set of values and I become someone who bays for another person's blood.

And so it was that I screamed with delight when Kellie was announced as Olympic champion.

Apologies to the neighbours if I woke you.

The scenes at Kellie's home on Portland Row were magical. I loved it when Marty asked her mother

"Kellie lost the first round. What were you thinking during the second and third ones?"

And Kellie's mother answered, completely deadpan

"I don't know. I wasn't watching it. I was sitting in the back garden."

That sums up An Irish Mammy!

The reason why I'll never trust technology.....

 

I use the in-car feature on my phone when driving so I can listen to and answer text messages without it affecting my driving. I say my message and the car sends it as a written message,

Model citizen that I am.

My four siblings and I were awaiting a letter today. As I was driving I got a text.

I feel I should be shouting that In a Love Island Voice. I GOT A TEXXXXXT!

Finian: I got my letter!

John: I didn't.

Geraldine: Neither did I :(

Jacqueline: Me neither.

Car (to me): Would you like to reply?

Me: Yes.  I got mine!

Geraldine: Oh, it must be only Westmeath people who got it. Us Meath people didn't.

Finian and I are the only two that still live in Raharney. Geraldine moved to Meath last year.

Car: Would you like to reply?

Me: Geraldine, you shouldn't have left Raharney!

 I drove along for a few minutes and suddenly the messages started pinging.

Geraldine: What the hell? 

Finian: 3 rolling on the floor laughing emojis

John: Crying laughing emoji

Jacqueline: JESUS!

I had no idea what the matter was so I pulled over in the car and looked at my phone. I couldn't believe my eyes.

My car had translated my message 

"Geraldine, you shouldn't have left Raharney"

into

"Geraldine, you shouldn't of LEFT HER HORNY.

Guess I'll never be using that in-car feature again!!!

Feel the fear and do it anyway

 

I got a text! from our kayaking instructor.

This week we are meeting at the sailing club for a paddle on the lake. The plan is to try to paddle to Church Island (weather dependent). It's about a 4 km paddle altogether....woohoo. Bring a change of clothes for afterwards as we will be doing our capsize drill after.

CAPSIZE! we are going to capsize on purpose!!!

That is everyone's fear when starting out. And of course it makes sense to actually do it, so that if it ever happens we know exactly what to do, and so that takes the fear away.

That didn't help the knots in my stomach as I approached Lough Owel, my change of clothes neatly tucked away on the back seat.

We were very lucky as it was a beautiful calm evening. We got into our safety jackets and helmets and looked out at Church Island in the distance.

It was beautiful out on the water, it was clear and glassy and you could see right to the bottom,,,,,which unlike the canal last week, wasn't strewn with bottles, cans and shopping trolleys!

We set off for the island. Once again I probably did twice the distance as I kept going off to the side.....even backwards sometimes. But I made it!

We landed on the island and went exploring. There were two very alarmed gentlemen who were camping there, minding their own business having a bbq when we nearly gatecrashed it! They didn't have enough food for 10 starving women who had just worked up an appetite!!

It felt a bit like the Blair Witch Project as we were going through the undergrowth. In fact it had the makings of a great horror film. A group of ......aged women land on an island, inhabited by two back packers. As they explore the old ruined church the kayaks mysteriously drift off and they are left stranded for the night.

Okay, so in all fairness we could swim for the shore if need be, but sure that wouldn't be a great film...............................unless there was a shark!!!

Anyway our kayaks were where we left them and we headed back for the shore.

And then came the capsize drill!

Bob said we could wait til next week but as we were psyched up for it we went for it!

Yes there was a moment of dread as I gripped the side of the kayak and Bob turned it over. I had an irrational fear that I would get stuck in the kayak and be left upside down, Are ya mad? I fell out of it, was totally disorientated for a split second and then righted myself.

Talk about feeling proud of myself as I squelched back to my car to get changed.

Sometimes you just have to feel the fear and do it anyway!

Photos are courtesy of a husband who was awaiting the safe return of his wife on the shore!

It's all Ed Sheeran's fault......

 When I'm asked

"What did you do this summer?" I will proudly announce

"I stopped biting my nails!"

I have been biting them for the past 56 years

Well, I didn't have any teeth for the first year, so it's 55 years.

At the start of the summer I decided that this was the time I was going to kick this disgusting habit....and I did!!! 

So I took myself off to Jenny B's to get a manicure. I've gotten one before but it had involved gel and shellac and other artificial stuff. This time I just wanted ordinary nail polish as I wanted to celebrate their naturalness. I couldn't understand the look of horror that crossed Jenny's face when I said I wanted normal nail polish, surely that would be much easier than the other stuff?

NO.

Jenny explained that normal polish takes 4 HOURS to dry properly and there is a HUGE chance of it smudging before that. I promised I'd be good and not move.

When she brought out my colour choices to choose from, I couldn't decide so I went for them all!

Once they were done I sat back in an armchair and placed my hands on the armrests to wait. Jenny headed into the next room to attend to another client.

I was sitting back, relaxing and listening to the music, when Ed Sheeran came on. All I can say is, I challenge anyone who has lost their mother to listen to Supermarket Flowers without bawling.

https://www.google.com/search?q=youtube+supermarket+flowers&rlz=1C1CHWA_enIE605IE605&oq=youtube+Supermarket+Flowers&aqs=chrome.0.0i512l3j0i22i30l7.16439j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

I felt my eyes welling up and the tears ran down my face and got caught in my mask! Of course I had to adjust it....with my hands! But it had been ages since I got my nails done so they had to be dry enough to touch things, right?

WRONG.

When Jenny came back to check, two of my nails were smudged and had to be redone. This time I sat like a statue and never moved until I got the all clear. It was worth it!

Now I just wonder if Ed will pay my bill. After all, it was all his fault they had to be redone!

Paddle your own canoe

 Ping!

It was a text message from my friend Audrey.

There is a four week course on Kayaking on the canal in Mullingar especially for women. U interested?

Well I'm always on the lookout for a new challenge/skill to learn so we signed up.

Unfortunately I was away last week for the first lesson so I was I was a little apprehensive about going this week.

What if they've learned all the important basics and I'm just left to paddle my own canoe.....and I flip over!!!!

I needn't have worried. The instructors went over everything with me and I took to the water and started paddling......around in circles!

I thought it would be based on the basic laws of physics, that if I applied a force to one side there would be an equal and opposite reaction on the other side.

Bullshit! My kayak seemed to have a mind of its own and went in whatever direction it wanted. Circles were its path of choice.

Eventually I got the hang of it...kinda. We all set off paddling leisurely down the canal. It was supposed to be a 1k paddle but I'd say I did triple that amount as I veered from side to side, ended up facing the wrong way....but I made it!

When we had finished that the instructors started to teach us a few more "tricks".

The first one was how to change direction and how to turn your kayak in circles! 

What the...????

I had spent the lesson trying not to go in circles and now they thought they had to teach me how to do it???

And guess what, when I TRIED to go in circles I ended up going in a straight line!

So next week WHEN WE GO TO THE LAKE I am going to try reverse psychology. If I need to go straight I'll try to go in circles and vice versa. That should work.

LOVED IT!

 

I'm ashamed to say......

I arrived back from a fabulous road trip around the sunny south east of Ireland.

And boy was it sunny!

On Sunday morning I woke up back in my own bed with the sun streaming in the window. I was determined to make the most of it as the heatwave was to come to an end the following day. I wracked my brain trying to think of where to go, somewhere not too far away as I was tired from driving.

I thought of Tullynally Castle Gardens, a mere 25 km away. All I can say is

WOW!

 

Don't panic! That's not a real crocodile in the centre!

This is my favourite photo. If you look REALLY closely you will see two ducks waddling on the log over the lake. It reminds me of that scene from dirty dancing!

And yes I am ashamed to say that this was the first time I visited this gem of a local place. I'll be back!

Long Lost Families

 As you know one of my first projects to undertake, when Lockdown first entered our lives, was to crochet a little zebra.

Thanks to the middle aisle in Aldi.

Lil' Covid, as he was called, became my companion through many a long and lonely day. He was often the only one I could vent my frustrations to, and he was a very good listener!

Don't judge me, think of Tom Hanks and Wilson!

So you can imagine my surprise and delight when I spied, what can only be called Big Covid, in a shop window in Wexford last week when we were on a staycation. As the shop was closed at the time, I had to find my way back the next day and try to find it. I DID!

So this fella was bought immediately and has now been reunited with his lil' brother.

I love a happy ending!

My heart will go on

 Last week I made a trip into my doctor. In the process of my examination he took my blood pressure and announced that it was high.

I was very surprised as any other time it has been normal or even low.

He took it again and it was still high.

I'd say it was even higher as I got such a shock.

So I was back in today to get fitted with a monitor which checks my blood pressure for the next 24 hours.

Every half hour I beep as if I'm reversing, it puffs up for about 10 seconds and then life goes on as normal.  The nurse reassured me that it happens every hour during the night, but I guess I'm still in for an interrupted night's sleep.

Ah well, I'll find out tomorrow if I have a heart or not!

Day 9: Backing the wrong horse.

 I had to go to Athlone to get my second vaccine.

I'd have travelled ANYWHERE to get it!

Afterwards I travelled on to Roscommon to Helena and Mike's. On the way I had a little moment when I thought to myself

"Am I supposed to be travelling this far?"

Answer: YES. Inter-county travel is now permitted. Relax.

On Sunday Helena and I were travelling into Carrick-on-Shannon. Mike asked us to place a bet on a horse for him.

Now, Helena and I are no strangers to the races but we wouldn't really be "bookie" girls. But we decided to brave it.

We placed Mike's bet and then decided to have a little flutter ourselves. The first problem that we encountered was that there were no Irish races on today. Little as we know about Irish horses, we know even less about English ones. Not to be outsmarted we studied the lists that were on the wall and chose our horses, based 100% on their names.

We placed our bets and then sat down to watch the first one on the screens.

Imagine our shock when they suddenly changed and they were all showing GREYHOUND racing instead of the horses!

We really had no idea whether we had backed horses or dogs! And we were too embarrassed to ask anyone. 

Blonde Bimbos!

We stood our ground for a few moments and eventually discovered we had actually backed.....horses!

Phew!

And here's me, later on that day,  buying a yacht out of my winnings........NOT!

Day 11: PIGS IN BLANKETS MUSIC FESTIVAL 2021

 Today I went to the first PIGS IN BLANKETS music festival.....and I'm already looking forward to next year!

What on earth.....? I hear you ask.

Well, in this unprecedented year of the pandemic, there have been many things and events that we couldn't do in school that we would normally finish the year with....

Baconsvision

Baconstown's Got Talent

to name but a few.

Taking our Taoiseach's advice, my class decided to go for "an outdoor summer" theme and so we opted for our own music festival. Hey, it's outdoor!

Our first task was to come up with a catchy name. Having looked at the names of other festivals, we decided that it had to refer to our school, Baconstown. Also it should have a connection to food 

( Electric Picnic, I'm looking at you). 

Seeing as we were going to bring in sheets and blankets to pitch our "tents" in the camping area, the class voted on the name 

Pigs in Blankets

which you have to agree, is quite brilliant.

So they then set about rehearsing their acts. The range of songs they came up with meant that one couldn't really classify the festival as any particular genre! It included, among many other classics

Drivers Licence - Olivia Rodrigo

England's Football anthem (!)

The Silage Song - The 2 Johnnies.

I suppose if you had to classify it, it would be

Electric Picnic meets Euros 2021 meets Kilbeggan Country Music Festival!

There were many important life lessons to be learned from this experience!

I have mentioned that they had to learn to pitch their"tent" under challenging circumstances, in the school field. The fact that it took them several attempts and many of them still collapsed, will only prepare them for what will probably happen in years to come.

They got their festival ticket the day before the big event. Some of them asked it they could leave them in the classroom until the actual day. I didn't let them.

Now before you brand me as being heartless, let me explain why. I wanted them to be responsible, look after their ticket and remember to bring it with them to the festival. It might save them the panic and heartbreak of someday turning up at the airport to fly to Amsterdam, only to discover at the check in desk that they had left their ticket (and their friend's ticket) at home on the kitchen table!!! Real life story

Then on the day of the festival their ticket was handed over for the all important wristband (which they designed themselves).

Again I stressed how important it was to keep your wristband on, in case you had to leave the festival field and wanted to get back in.

On the big day they all arrived into school in their festival gear. I could tell a lot about their parents younger years by the outfits their children were wearing!

I'm sorry I can't show any photos of them, GDPR! You'll just have to imagine, based on what you would wear!

The festival site was easy to find! There may have been a few near accidents as cars were slowing down to catch a glimpse as to what on earth was going on.

After the tents were pitched, we made our way to the main stage area for the headline acts of the day.

This was then followed by some (a lot of) food and drink. Judging by the amount of sugar they consumed, some of them were buzzing as much as if they had been to a "grown up" festival!

Disclaimer: Parents, I apologise for the evening you must have had with them!  Again, it's practise for years to come!

Then the music was pumped out and we danced...and danced.

I never want to hear that  &*$@in song  " Friday Saturday Sunday" again!!!

When the Infants parents arrived at 1,30 to pick up their kids, they stood longingly at the fence and asked if they could join us. They were met with a resounding

"You can't come in unless you have a wristband!"

Ahh yes, I have taught them well.

So we had an afternoon of singing, dancing, food, fizzy drinks, blowing bubbles and face painting.

Many thanks to Ms Bushe who spent her day painting flowers, butterflies, love hearts and tractors onto their faces!

They sang their way home, already talking about next year!

I know they may not remember that I taught them long multiplication, shapes that tessellate and the Briathra Neamhrialta in the Aimsir Chaite.

But if they remember their first music festival, PIGS IN BLANKETS 2021, then I will have done my job!

Day 23: You can't beat a good old romp!

 We were all delighted when, a few months back, my niece Emma announced that she was pregnant.

As it was during Lockdown,  I decided to take on another Lockdown project and knit something for the baby. The problem was all the shops were closed so there was nowhere to get  a knitting pattern. We were clearing out some of Mam's things and I found a book of her knitting patterns. I was thrilled and brought it home to peruse it for something suitable.

I texted Marese ( expectant granny) and exclaimed

"I'm going to knit a romper suit!"

The reply I got back....

"For yourself?"

Now , I know I pride myself in coming up with outfits for special occasions but I am deadly serious when I say...

If you EVER see me in a hand-knitted romper suit, you have my full permission to slap me in the face.....with a shovel!

Baby Sadie is a month old at this stage and I have eventually finished the romper suit. Luckily I made it a bit bigger to fit her.

When I say "bigger" I mean, big enough to fit a 6 month old, not a 56 year old!!!

Day 24: The first sign of summer

 For many people the sighting of a swallow is the first sign of summer.

Not for me!

I know that summer is here when I spot Nadal doing what he does best, on a European tennis court.

Perfect way to spend a Bank Holiday Saturday! 

What will I do when he retires?

Day 25 : The Lough Ennell Monster

 Move over Nessie. There's a new monster in town!

While out walking in Belvedere I spied this strange sight in the lake. A long hooked neck and many humps on its back. Could it be another lake monster?

Okay, so I may be exaggerating a little bit. But hey, Lough Ness has been thriving on the back of its monster for centuries.

See, practically identical!

I'm sure a few carefully placed rumours will see Westmeath's tourist industry thrive in the coming months. 

God knows, we need it! 

Day 27: Indoor dining at its best.

 I've just eaten inside a hotel!

Now before you rush to report me let me explain.

I went to Mullingar Park Hotel to donate blood. For years I was never able to donate as I had feck all blood myself! Problem was sorted, so when the pandemic started last year I felt I had to do my civic duty and help out any way I could. When I heard the appeal for blood donations I decided to try again. I was accepted! In fact this was my fourth time to donate since.

When I was adequately drained of the life fluid, I was offered tea, biscuits and crisps. Obviously it's to help keep sugar levels up and prevent me from fainting.

So as I sat drinking out of my paper cup and chatting to the person at the next table I realised that this was the first dining experience I had in over six months.

And boy did it feel good!

Roll on next week when we at least can share outdoor dining.

Though, depending on the Irish weather, that may not be a daily event!