Next stop...Olympics

 Skibbereen Rowing Club have just been on to me. 

They want me for Paris 2024!!!

I don't like boxing........

 

I don't like watching the sport of boxing. That is not to say that I don't appreciate the blood, sweat and tears that boxers go through , not just in their matches but in their training and their dedication to their sport, I do! I have the highest admiration for their courage and discipline. It;s just that I can't stomach people inflicting pain on another living creature, be it an animal or a person. I can't remember ever being slapped as a child, so physical punishment is just not in my psyche.

So why was my alarm set for 5.45 am on a Sunday morning? 

To watch the lightweight Women's boxing final in the Olympics. Yes of course I'd heard of Kellie Harrington before these games but having seen her postfight interviews over the past weeks I have developed an overwhelming admiration for her, not just as a sports star, but also as a role model and a down right amazing person.

So I was on the couch with a cup of tea and a slice of toast in hand to watch the final. Now as I have never watched these fights before I'm not au fait with the scoring process. I assume you get points for making contact with your opponent and you get more points if you get their head??? I am open to correction.

So there I was, a totally non-violent person, shouting at the screen

"Hit her!! Good punch."

and actually hoping that Kellie would knock out her opponent, as I gathered from the commentators that it was one round each and the third round was the deciding factor.

And I think that's why  boxing makes me uncomfortable. It makes me turn completely against my own set of values and I become someone who bays for another person's blood.

And so it was that I screamed with delight when Kellie was announced as Olympic champion.

Apologies to the neighbours if I woke you.

The scenes at Kellie's home on Portland Row were magical. I loved it when Marty asked her mother

"Kellie lost the first round. What were you thinking during the second and third ones?"

And Kellie's mother answered, completely deadpan

"I don't know. I wasn't watching it. I was sitting in the back garden."

That sums up An Irish Mammy!

The reason why I'll never trust technology.....

 

I use the in-car feature on my phone when driving so I can listen to and answer text messages without it affecting my driving. I say my message and the car sends it as a written message,

Model citizen that I am.

My four siblings and I were awaiting a letter today. As I was driving I got a text.

I feel I should be shouting that In a Love Island Voice. I GOT A TEXXXXXT!

Finian: I got my letter!

John: I didn't.

Geraldine: Neither did I :(

Jacqueline: Me neither.

Car (to me): Would you like to reply?

Me: Yes.  I got mine!

Geraldine: Oh, it must be only Westmeath people who got it. Us Meath people didn't.

Finian and I are the only two that still live in Raharney. Geraldine moved to Meath last year.

Car: Would you like to reply?

Me: Geraldine, you shouldn't have left Raharney!

 I drove along for a few minutes and suddenly the messages started pinging.

Geraldine: What the hell? 

Finian: 3 rolling on the floor laughing emojis

John: Crying laughing emoji

Jacqueline: JESUS!

I had no idea what the matter was so I pulled over in the car and looked at my phone. I couldn't believe my eyes.

My car had translated my message 

"Geraldine, you shouldn't have left Raharney"

into

"Geraldine, you shouldn't of LEFT HER HORNY.

Guess I'll never be using that in-car feature again!!!

Feel the fear and do it anyway

 

I got a text! from our kayaking instructor.

This week we are meeting at the sailing club for a paddle on the lake. The plan is to try to paddle to Church Island (weather dependent). It's about a 4 km paddle altogether....woohoo. Bring a change of clothes for afterwards as we will be doing our capsize drill after.

CAPSIZE! we are going to capsize on purpose!!!

That is everyone's fear when starting out. And of course it makes sense to actually do it, so that if it ever happens we know exactly what to do, and so that takes the fear away.

That didn't help the knots in my stomach as I approached Lough Owel, my change of clothes neatly tucked away on the back seat.

We were very lucky as it was a beautiful calm evening. We got into our safety jackets and helmets and looked out at Church Island in the distance.

It was beautiful out on the water, it was clear and glassy and you could see right to the bottom,,,,,which unlike the canal last week, wasn't strewn with bottles, cans and shopping trolleys!

We set off for the island. Once again I probably did twice the distance as I kept going off to the side.....even backwards sometimes. But I made it!

We landed on the island and went exploring. There were two very alarmed gentlemen who were camping there, minding their own business having a bbq when we nearly gatecrashed it! They didn't have enough food for 10 starving women who had just worked up an appetite!!

It felt a bit like the Blair Witch Project as we were going through the undergrowth. In fact it had the makings of a great horror film. A group of ......aged women land on an island, inhabited by two back packers. As they explore the old ruined church the kayaks mysteriously drift off and they are left stranded for the night.

Okay, so in all fairness we could swim for the shore if need be, but sure that wouldn't be a great film...............................unless there was a shark!!!

Anyway our kayaks were where we left them and we headed back for the shore.

And then came the capsize drill!

Bob said we could wait til next week but as we were psyched up for it we went for it!

Yes there was a moment of dread as I gripped the side of the kayak and Bob turned it over. I had an irrational fear that I would get stuck in the kayak and be left upside down, Are ya mad? I fell out of it, was totally disorientated for a split second and then righted myself.

Talk about feeling proud of myself as I squelched back to my car to get changed.

Sometimes you just have to feel the fear and do it anyway!

Photos are courtesy of a husband who was awaiting the safe return of his wife on the shore!

It's all Ed Sheeran's fault......

 When I'm asked

"What did you do this summer?" I will proudly announce

"I stopped biting my nails!"

I have been biting them for the past 56 years

Well, I didn't have any teeth for the first year, so it's 55 years.

At the start of the summer I decided that this was the time I was going to kick this disgusting habit....and I did!!! 

So I took myself off to Jenny B's to get a manicure. I've gotten one before but it had involved gel and shellac and other artificial stuff. This time I just wanted ordinary nail polish as I wanted to celebrate their naturalness. I couldn't understand the look of horror that crossed Jenny's face when I said I wanted normal nail polish, surely that would be much easier than the other stuff?

NO.

Jenny explained that normal polish takes 4 HOURS to dry properly and there is a HUGE chance of it smudging before that. I promised I'd be good and not move.

When she brought out my colour choices to choose from, I couldn't decide so I went for them all!

Once they were done I sat back in an armchair and placed my hands on the armrests to wait. Jenny headed into the next room to attend to another client.

I was sitting back, relaxing and listening to the music, when Ed Sheeran came on. All I can say is, I challenge anyone who has lost their mother to listen to Supermarket Flowers without bawling.

https://www.google.com/search?q=youtube+supermarket+flowers&rlz=1C1CHWA_enIE605IE605&oq=youtube+Supermarket+Flowers&aqs=chrome.0.0i512l3j0i22i30l7.16439j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

I felt my eyes welling up and the tears ran down my face and got caught in my mask! Of course I had to adjust it....with my hands! But it had been ages since I got my nails done so they had to be dry enough to touch things, right?

WRONG.

When Jenny came back to check, two of my nails were smudged and had to be redone. This time I sat like a statue and never moved until I got the all clear. It was worth it!

Now I just wonder if Ed will pay my bill. After all, it was all his fault they had to be redone!

Paddle your own canoe

 Ping!

It was a text message from my friend Audrey.

There is a four week course on Kayaking on the canal in Mullingar especially for women. U interested?

Well I'm always on the lookout for a new challenge/skill to learn so we signed up.

Unfortunately I was away last week for the first lesson so I was I was a little apprehensive about going this week.

What if they've learned all the important basics and I'm just left to paddle my own canoe.....and I flip over!!!!

I needn't have worried. The instructors went over everything with me and I took to the water and started paddling......around in circles!

I thought it would be based on the basic laws of physics, that if I applied a force to one side there would be an equal and opposite reaction on the other side.

Bullshit! My kayak seemed to have a mind of its own and went in whatever direction it wanted. Circles were its path of choice.

Eventually I got the hang of it...kinda. We all set off paddling leisurely down the canal. It was supposed to be a 1k paddle but I'd say I did triple that amount as I veered from side to side, ended up facing the wrong way....but I made it!

When we had finished that the instructors started to teach us a few more "tricks".

The first one was how to change direction and how to turn your kayak in circles! 

What the...????

I had spent the lesson trying not to go in circles and now they thought they had to teach me how to do it???

And guess what, when I TRIED to go in circles I ended up going in a straight line!

So next week WHEN WE GO TO THE LAKE I am going to try reverse psychology. If I need to go straight I'll try to go in circles and vice versa. That should work.

LOVED IT!

 

I'm ashamed to say......

I arrived back from a fabulous road trip around the sunny south east of Ireland.

And boy was it sunny!

On Sunday morning I woke up back in my own bed with the sun streaming in the window. I was determined to make the most of it as the heatwave was to come to an end the following day. I wracked my brain trying to think of where to go, somewhere not too far away as I was tired from driving.

I thought of Tullynally Castle Gardens, a mere 25 km away. All I can say is

WOW!

 

Don't panic! That's not a real crocodile in the centre!

This is my favourite photo. If you look REALLY closely you will see two ducks waddling on the log over the lake. It reminds me of that scene from dirty dancing!

And yes I am ashamed to say that this was the first time I visited this gem of a local place. I'll be back!