Have myself a Merry Little Christmas time.

 

We all knew they were coming.....more restrictions. All those plans of boozy nights catching up with friends were slowly disappearing into a covid-induced haze.

When it was announced that all craic would cease after 8pm my social diary for the festive season dried up.

But I'm determined to be as positive as I can. Nothing can be as bad as full lockdown, when I was confined to my house on my own, permitted to go in a 2km radius and also try to continue to educate 31 kids via zoom.

Please bear in mind that when I went to college, I was given tuition on how to write straight on a blackboard using chalk! That's as much educational technology  I've been given.

Anyway, I'm determined to look on the bright side and concentrate on what I CAN do this Christmas.

Here's my list so far

• Meet friends for dinner/drinks in the early afternoon.
• Meet up with three households in someones house. (dangerous!)
• Go to an early cinema viewing of a film (looking forward to "The Lost Daughter" and "Belfast")
• A matinee performance of panto, any show
• Walks in parks, Belvedere etc
• Shopping
• Religious ceremonies. I'm very partial to a Christmas midnight mass especially if Emmet Cahill is singing.
  
  
  
  
• And if any of my friends would decide to have a shotgun wedding or renew their wedding vows, that would be great, thanks!

If you have anything to add to this list, it would be much appreciateed, Just might save my sanity this time around!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Missing Person

 Last weekend we were clearing out our family home. I spent ages going through the boxes of photos, letters and diaries which I found in my old bedroom.

Right at the back of my wardrobe I found these three large framed photos of ....ME!!!

I remember well getting them done. It was around the time when all my friends were getting married. I decided that if I was never going to have a wedding album at least I would have some professional photos of me. ( I wasn't vain or anything!)

I remember showing them proudly to my family and announcing

"If I ever go missing, these are the photos I want you to use on my MISSING posters!"

My then ten-year old nephew squinted at them and said

"But then Noeleen we'll never find you. You look nothing like that!!!"

Photographic evidence

 

My first History lesson with my new class of 9 year olds was all about the work of the historian and where they get their information.

The beauty of being so long in this job is that I have a photo of me overseeing my very first First Holy Communion which was 35 years ago!!! I showed it to the class on the Interactive White Board ( there were none of those new fangled things back in the day....) and we discussed the importance of photographic evidence as a primary source of evidence. There were many questions, all very valid.

Pupil: Miss, you see the way your hair was brown way back then. Do you dye it, or has it turned yellow because of history?

Me: being truthful. I dye it.  Next question please?

Next stop...Olympics

 Skibbereen Rowing Club have just been on to me. 

They want me for Paris 2024!!!

I don't like boxing........

 

I don't like watching the sport of boxing. That is not to say that I don't appreciate the blood, sweat and tears that boxers go through , not just in their matches but in their training and their dedication to their sport, I do! I have the highest admiration for their courage and discipline. It;s just that I can't stomach people inflicting pain on another living creature, be it an animal or a person. I can't remember ever being slapped as a child, so physical punishment is just not in my psyche.

So why was my alarm set for 5.45 am on a Sunday morning? 

To watch the lightweight Women's boxing final in the Olympics. Yes of course I'd heard of Kellie Harrington before these games but having seen her postfight interviews over the past weeks I have developed an overwhelming admiration for her, not just as a sports star, but also as a role model and a down right amazing person.

So I was on the couch with a cup of tea and a slice of toast in hand to watch the final. Now as I have never watched these fights before I'm not au fait with the scoring process. I assume you get points for making contact with your opponent and you get more points if you get their head??? I am open to correction.

So there I was, a totally non-violent person, shouting at the screen

"Hit her!! Good punch."

and actually hoping that Kellie would knock out her opponent, as I gathered from the commentators that it was one round each and the third round was the deciding factor.

And I think that's why  boxing makes me uncomfortable. It makes me turn completely against my own set of values and I become someone who bays for another person's blood.

And so it was that I screamed with delight when Kellie was announced as Olympic champion.

Apologies to the neighbours if I woke you.

The scenes at Kellie's home on Portland Row were magical. I loved it when Marty asked her mother

"Kellie lost the first round. What were you thinking during the second and third ones?"

And Kellie's mother answered, completely deadpan

"I don't know. I wasn't watching it. I was sitting in the back garden."

That sums up An Irish Mammy!

The reason why I'll never trust technology.....

 

I use the in-car feature on my phone when driving so I can listen to and answer text messages without it affecting my driving. I say my message and the car sends it as a written message,

Model citizen that I am.

My four siblings and I were awaiting a letter today. As I was driving I got a text.

I feel I should be shouting that In a Love Island Voice. I GOT A TEXXXXXT!

Finian: I got my letter!

John: I didn't.

Geraldine: Neither did I :(

Jacqueline: Me neither.

Car (to me): Would you like to reply?

Me: Yes.  I got mine!

Geraldine: Oh, it must be only Westmeath people who got it. Us Meath people didn't.

Finian and I are the only two that still live in Raharney. Geraldine moved to Meath last year.

Car: Would you like to reply?

Me: Geraldine, you shouldn't have left Raharney!

 I drove along for a few minutes and suddenly the messages started pinging.

Geraldine: What the hell? 

Finian: 3 rolling on the floor laughing emojis

John: Crying laughing emoji

Jacqueline: JESUS!

I had no idea what the matter was so I pulled over in the car and looked at my phone. I couldn't believe my eyes.

My car had translated my message 

"Geraldine, you shouldn't have left Raharney"

into

"Geraldine, you shouldn't of LEFT HER HORNY.

Guess I'll never be using that in-car feature again!!!

Feel the fear and do it anyway

 

I got a text! from our kayaking instructor.

This week we are meeting at the sailing club for a paddle on the lake. The plan is to try to paddle to Church Island (weather dependent). It's about a 4 km paddle altogether....woohoo. Bring a change of clothes for afterwards as we will be doing our capsize drill after.

CAPSIZE! we are going to capsize on purpose!!!

That is everyone's fear when starting out. And of course it makes sense to actually do it, so that if it ever happens we know exactly what to do, and so that takes the fear away.

That didn't help the knots in my stomach as I approached Lough Owel, my change of clothes neatly tucked away on the back seat.

We were very lucky as it was a beautiful calm evening. We got into our safety jackets and helmets and looked out at Church Island in the distance.

It was beautiful out on the water, it was clear and glassy and you could see right to the bottom,,,,,which unlike the canal last week, wasn't strewn with bottles, cans and shopping trolleys!

We set off for the island. Once again I probably did twice the distance as I kept going off to the side.....even backwards sometimes. But I made it!

We landed on the island and went exploring. There were two very alarmed gentlemen who were camping there, minding their own business having a bbq when we nearly gatecrashed it! They didn't have enough food for 10 starving women who had just worked up an appetite!!

It felt a bit like the Blair Witch Project as we were going through the undergrowth. In fact it had the makings of a great horror film. A group of ......aged women land on an island, inhabited by two back packers. As they explore the old ruined church the kayaks mysteriously drift off and they are left stranded for the night.

Okay, so in all fairness we could swim for the shore if need be, but sure that wouldn't be a great film...............................unless there was a shark!!!

Anyway our kayaks were where we left them and we headed back for the shore.

And then came the capsize drill!

Bob said we could wait til next week but as we were psyched up for it we went for it!

Yes there was a moment of dread as I gripped the side of the kayak and Bob turned it over. I had an irrational fear that I would get stuck in the kayak and be left upside down, Are ya mad? I fell out of it, was totally disorientated for a split second and then righted myself.

Talk about feeling proud of myself as I squelched back to my car to get changed.

Sometimes you just have to feel the fear and do it anyway!

Photos are courtesy of a husband who was awaiting the safe return of his wife on the shore!